Tamara

I began my journey in search of a better life for myself and my 6 month old son.  I was also fleeing a Domestic Violence situation with my son’s father, which heightened my need to relocate to California.  I moved with a plan that I thought would work but this is my story:

I called upon my family and shared my desire to attend school and make a better life for myself and my son and my family agreed to help.  My aunt lives in Los Angeles and agreed to assist us by allowing us to live with her and help me take care of my son while I attended school.  My journey from Indianapolis, Indiana to Los Angeles, California began January 17, 2007 and my school enrollment began March 12, 2007.  All seemed to be working as planned.

Yet, in April 2007, my life was turned upside down when my “aunt’s” husband made up his mind that he wanted to have sex with me and didn’t care that I didn’t want it.  So, I told my “aunt” what happened and she told me, “If that’s what he wanted, then that is fine.”  Feeling trapped, he began to have his way with me, until I became pregnant.  Searching for help, I reached out to my family and shared my experience – no one believed me.  I was facing a tremendous decision alone: should I keep the child or not?  The reason that it was a hard choice was because I was told that I couldn’t have kids. When I got pregnant with my son, four different doctors told me to get rid of my son because he was going to be a special needs child, and they thought I was too young to handle it.  But I prayed about it and promised God that however he would make my son, then I would do everything I could to make sure he had a good life.  This is why I moved all the way to California. 

In the end, I decided to abort the other child for a lot of different reasons – that in itself is something I have to deal with everyday.  I knew after that, I couldn’t stay with my “aunt” anymore because it was not fair to me or my son.  So, I let my son go stay at his daycare for a week and I stayed in my car – I didn’t have anywhere to go.  I don’t know anyone else here and I didn’t want to go back to Indiana, because I promised God that I would better myself for my son.  I was lost and didn’t know what to do.  All I could do was pray and cry, cry and pray. 

One of my friends at school told me to go to the County for help and I did.  They were able to put me and my son in a hotel and started me on the Calworks program.  After a month and a half, they found us housing at Hope Gardens.  After finding temporary housing stability through Hope Gardens, I am proud to share that through it all God kept me and my son. Through perseverance, I graduated the vocational program and walked across the stage on May 30, 2008, and my son is 100% healthy, thanks to God. 

Although my story is abbreviated, I chose to share a space and time in my life that I am still healing from.  My current goals are: to continue spiritual and clinical counseling; prepare for the state examination to be an X-Ray technician; and to secure employment and a place to call home.  My current barriers for obtaining these goals are as follows:  I would really like some assistance from a mentor who can assist me in securing employment – sometimes that comes simply by who you know; someone making a call and reaching out to assist me; reliable and safe child care for my son; as well as a reliable car and a safe place of our own.

In the African American Community, we are proactive and a major part of our commitment to community was our sense of ownership to reach out to the most needy in our community, sharing the little that we have to fulfill an innate drive to elevate ourselves -  “Each One- Reach One.”